Choosing Compassion

Compassion. The first time this word ever came into my consciousness was when I was married to an alcoholic. I was attending a 12 step program in order to learn more about the disease of alcoholism and what I could do to help improve my marriage which was being torn apart by this disease. I ended up learning more about myself than I had anticipated going in - why I made the choices I’d made throughout my life and how those choices contributed to the circumstances I found myself in at that point on my journey. Never did I think that I would learn to have compassion for the very people who had caused me the most pain in my life!

An abusive father, peers who rejected this shy little girl, boyfriends who couldn’t make a commitment, and husbands (two of them) who were either emotionally abusive or unavailable - all make up a short list of those who brought me nothing but heartache and made me feel worthless as a human being. What I didn’t realize is that I had choices. Choices I didn’t even know existed! And part of that was learning to understand that people who abused, rejected, couldn’t commit, or were emotionally unavailable all had pain of their own they were dealing with. Who knew? And my choice was to recognize their pain and feel compassion for them, or to continue allowing myself to be hurt by them. The compassion didn’t come easily at first. Believe me, I wanted them and everyone else to know how much they had hurt me, and in order to do that, I had to continue hurting. When we are deeply wounded, the last thing we want to do is feel sorry for those who wounded us. It seems wrong somehow, like we’re letting them off the hook. But once I allowed myself to be open to another way of thinking and being, I was surprised at how healing it was for me.

When thinking about my father, I realized that I really didn’t have a clue about what his life had been like for him. There had to be something that caused him to take out his irrational and extreme anger on an innocent and helpless child! Anyone who had been raised to feel loved and cherished would not do that! (The very thought of this still makes me weep for him!) This eye-opening realization allowed me, for the first time in my life, to feel true compassion for the man whom I believed was the cause of all my troubles. It’s true that his treatment of me was wrong - compassion does not excuse inappropriate behavior. It only understands that there is more to any person than what we see on the surface. And it allows the one who feels it toward another to be released from the bonds of victimhood. I no longer see the perpetrator as an all-powerful being who holds the key to my happiness, but as simply another human being on this journey called life… right alongside me! In this reality, we are equal. I don’t have to love them or even like them, but I can feel compassion toward them for whatever their pain is without feeling responsible for causing it or fixing it. And this frees me to be all that God intended for me without being weighed down by self-pity.

So, remember the next time you find yourself making a judgment of another human being based only on what you see on the surface, you don’t really know the whole story. You don’t know the pain or the guilt or the suffering that this person may have been through - or the negative influences that have affected who they have become.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

May we find it in our hearts to have compassion for those who have hurt us or others we care about, understanding that their actions are a reflection of their pain. When we open our hearts and minds to the idea that others’ hurtful behavior is really a cry for Love, we see it from an entirely different perspective. Compassion becomes possible when we can set our own egos aside and realize that every man and every woman was once an innocent child, and only longs to be loved and understood. We are all God’s children on this spiritual journey together, connected to one another in spirit and in love. Our Source is one and the same. In this way, we are no different, really. Whenever we feel contempt toward another of your children, dear God, may we be reminded that we can choose compassion. Amen.

Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

That Woman

Last night, as I left my office after dark, something happened... a moment in time when I saw a true-life image that touched me deeply. It was one of those moments that can only happen when a synchronicity of circumstances and events makes you stop in your tracks from the power of it. A Divine message which reminds you of the interconnectedness of all of humanity and all of life. A moment of empathy and true compassion when you can feel the heart and soul of another and which sparks questions about the Divine order of things.

It was a cool night with a dampness that lingered in the air from showers that had occurred randomly throughout the day - typical for a spring day in southern Oregon. As I approached my car which was parked across the street, I heard a noise behind me like the sound of someone stepping on a twig, and I quickly turned around to see what or who had made that noise. In the shadows under the branches of a large tree I saw a woman making her way down the sidewalk with her personal belongings in tow. I knew at once that she was homeless. She was bent over, limping under the weight of her load and she was moving very slowly. It was quiet all around us except for an occasional snap of a twig under her feet, and the scene was mystical... almost ethereal. The image of this woman as she slowly made her way down the street late at night, and the stark reality that she had nowhere to go, caught me off guard. I paused on that awareness for a moment before getting into my car and heading home.

I couldn't get this woman off my mind as I settled into my cozy little apartment, fixed myself some dinner and sat down at my computer for my nightly social networking and writing for my blog. It's not that I haven't witnessed plenty of homelessness in my community. It's all around me in plain sight nearly every day. The building where I work hosts a food bank and the property often attracts homeless people looking for a place to sleep, especially during bad weather. There was just something about this woman and what she represented that touched me at my core. It was an awakening of sorts - I saw in her something I had not noticed before which, in turn, made me see something in ME that needed to be awakened!

The next morning, after a good night's sleep, I awoke with the still-fresh memory of that woman on my mind, as well as a sense that something in me had changed. As the day wore on, words to a poem were floating in and out of my thoughts, repeating themselves often as this experience settled into my consciousness and would not let me be! So, that evening, using the words which had been given to me, I wrote the following poem as an expression of my awakening. I pray that I will always remember this feeling - this understanding of another's reality that used to be so foreign to me. May the compassion I feel today remain as I navigate through this life, and if I falter and forget, may I be reminded once again that we are all on this journey together as God's beloved children.

That woman…
Walking down the street alone after dark
Tattered clothes
Layered for warmth and convenience to carry
Her other belongings piled on her back
Or hanging from her arms dragging behind
She can barely walk under the weight of her load

There’s nobody else around for blocks, except me
On my way home to my comfortable space
I feel guilty somehow
Why me?
Why am I “worthy” of this luxury and not her?
How do You choose, God?
And if not You, then who decides?
What is our fate, our life’s journey, our destination?
Is it just chance, luck of the draw, or simply circumstance?

Oh, Great One
Conductor of souls
Composer of this symphony of life
You Who have choreographed this dance of Creation
What makes one life more blessed than the next?
Why am I so fortunate when others must suffer so much more?
I have a home
I eat every day
I sleep on a warm soft bed in a cozy little apartment
Modest by most standards but blessed nonetheless
I have a job
I pay my bills
And I don’t have to beg for my next meal

That woman…
Walking down the street alone after dark
She begs every day for a morsel of food…
to stay alive!
For what?
To sleep in some alley on a cold rainy night
And wake up the next morning to beg again…
just to survive!
What kind of life is that, and what keeps her going?
What unimaginable strength she must have inside
To carry on each day and into the night
Does despair ever win?
Does hope ever die?
Is hope even within her scope of thinking?

I feel so helpless
What can I do?
I spent most of my life detached somehow
I didn’t even notice
That woman…
Walking down the street alone after dark
She was there
But I was not
I turned away and pretended she didn’t exist
Now that I see, what is my part?
How do I make a difference
To that woman…
Walking down the street alone after dark?

I lift my head to look at her
I nod, I smile, I say hello
I acknowledge her existence
At least it’s a start

That is my part
To pay attention
Don’t turn away and pretend she doesn’t exist
Understanding her pain, her struggle to survive
May give me the courage to take the next step
More than a look, a nod, or a smile
Will stir her heart and lighten her sorrow

Maybe next time I’ll be able to say
What is your name?
May I help you somehow to carry your load?
Come in out of the rain and allow me to take your coat
Dear woman…
Walking down the street alone after dark

Seeing God in her, I gain respect
This child of God has met many challenges
that I couldn’t even imagine
Who am I to judge and look the other way?
Compassion moves me to share my light
And do what I can to make her life just a little bit brighter
To carry her through the night
and give her strength to face the next day

To me
With my comfortable life
it doesn’t seem like much
But to her
It may be the very thing
that makes her feel her life is worth living
Not only that…
When I do my part
It makes Love real
For that woman…
Walking down the street alone after dark
And that’s all that really matters

05/22/2011
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

Compassion
Compassion lives in the night and day
Compassion is Love's best way
Compassion brings together great and small
Compassion is the light which unites us all.

Compassion is the highest expression of human love, and a keynote of our spiritual evolution. As Compassion flows from our hearts, Balance is gained, and Harmony among opposites is achieved. Compassion, Balance and Harmony create Freedom and Liberation, and from this place and space, Compassion unites us all.
~ Author Unknown

Prayer of Compassion from Mother Teresa
Lord, open our eyes
that we may see You in our brothers and sisters.
Lord, open our ears
that we may hear the cries of the hungry,
the cold, the frightened, the oppressed.
Lord, open our hearts
that we may Love each other as You Love us.
Renew in us Your spirit.
Lord, free us and make us one.
Amen

Artist Heidi Hansen, formerly homeless, painted this artistic representation of hope after homelessness. The original painting bears her dedication “When we reach our darkest moments, we can choose to act out our despair, or do something extraordinary.” This piece was one of 28 of her paintings which she donated to be sold at an art auction to benefit a homeless shelter and to raise awareness of homelessness in Vancouver, Washington. Hansen is a survivor of domestic violence and mental illness who received services from Open House Ministries and Share, Inc.

The Endless Grip of Longing

Deep longing
Unfulfilled

Never goes away
It remains in the heart
Perhaps held at bay
Only to surface
On another dark day
The journey to wholeness
May seem endless
When you’re feeling hopeless
Lost and forgotten
Your dreams have escaped you
What now is your purpose?

Deep longing
Unfulfilled

Be gentle with yourself
When in its grip
Be kind
Take your time
And try to understand
This pain will guide you
To a new place and time
Where a light is hiding
Waiting to be found
It was placed in you at your birth
It is the expression
Of your beauty
Your gift
Your true worth

Deep longing
Unfulfilled

Grief and sorrow over what is lost
Must be honored first
Whatever the cost
The tide of emotions
Inevitable pain
Creates a void
Leaves a space
For something else
To take its place
Trust that the answers will come
Filling that space
That hole in your soul
Your Godself awaits
Joy and passion
Will find expression
Igniting the light
That’s been hiding within

Deep longing
Unfulfilled

Always remember
The emptiness inside
Make a vow right now
To never forget
Not to dwell
Or stay in the darkness
But to find compassion
And share your light
When others are held
In its endless grip

Deep longing
Unfulfilled

Comes full circle
Its purpose revealed
When Love is shared
Given away
This Gift of self
Dims the pain
Glowing heartspace
Returns to you
Sustained by Love’s everlasting embrace
Its promise yields

Deep longing...
Fulfilled

07/11/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

"One thing I've learned, as a good friend once told me, 'God doesn't waste a hurt.' I don't believe God causes hurtful things to happen to us; in fact, I believe He's right there with us in our darkest hour crying as deeply as we are over our pain and suffering. I do believe God provides opportunities for us to find and receive His Love in the midst of our deepest sorrow. And He also brings us to healing solutions and discovering ways we can use our experience to help others." ~ C. Burgess

Star Light, Star Bright

Star light, star bright
Twinkling in the moonlight
My soul rejoices at the sight
Of your brilliance on this glorious night!

Love is reflected in your shimmering glow
Millions cheer as you put on your show
Heavenly wonder from the very start
The beginning of time, the first beat of your heart

I can only imagine the secrets that lie
In the vastness of universes beyond the sky
Mysteries unfolding in time and in space
Singing a song only God can trace

Star light, star bright
Twinkling in the moonlight
My soul rejoices at the sight
Of your brilliance on this glorious night!

Your beauty is truly a sight to behold
The dance you perform for the angels unfolds
Giving life to the heavens, keeping time to the beat
The wind holds the rhythm, creates passion and heat

Your greatness is evident, your purpose so clear
How can I measure up, I’m not even near
My very existence on this planet called Earth
Is nothing more than a grain of sand, a speck of dirt

Star light, star bright
Twinkling in the moonlight

Your reason for being seems much grander than mine
But the truth is we’re both in line
For a love so great, God has gifted us the feeling
Each holding a spark in our hearts worth revealing

The love held within must be shared or, you see
The light will go out, we can’t let that be
Sparkle and shimmer ‘til the end of all time
Pass it on, make a difference, save a life, let it shine!

Star light, star bright
Twinkling in the moonlight
My soul rejoices at the sight
Of your brilliance on this glorious night!

Your warmth will stay on, reside in my heart
As long as you dare to keep twinkling in the dark
Light my world, star bright, inspire me within
To be all that I can be, share my gift, all that’s given!

01/30/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Love Is the Answer

When all the world
Seems filled with gloom
It’s soul consumed
With tragedy and disaster
Remember…
Love is the answer

When hate fills the space
Where love was once commonplace
When words sting
Instead of sing
Remember…
Love is the answer

When others don’t understand
Why you’ve taken My hand
Your new light reveals
Their darkness concealed
Remember…
Love is the answer

When your patience is tested
You feel not at your best
When life doesn't seem fair
Just breathe and say a prayer
And remember...
Love is the answer

When hard times descend
Upon foe or friend
When eyes that once sparkled and shined
Become blind
Remember…
Love is the answer

When land and sea
Send out a plea
Mother Earth cries out
Destruction all about
Remember…
Love is the answer

When the children are forlorn
Their little souls tattered and torn
Abused, neglected
Hopeless and dejected
Remember…
Love is the answer

For only Love can turn darkness to light
Blindness to sight
Giving hope to the hopeless
A friend to the friendless
New vision and a dream
Can be all that they seem
When we remember
That Love is the answer

04/03/2011
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess

This poem appeared in the May, 2011 issue
of Dot to Dot online magazine
published by
Michael Jackson Tribute Portrait
which is available at the following link:

http://www.mjtpmagazine.presspublisher.us/

Creation's Plea

Spring is here
Showing its color
Peeking out from under
Winter’s blanket, soft and warm
The sun brings forth new life in every form

Snow is melting, setting free
Lifeblood of the earth
Waters flow to the sea
The circle of life continues its journey

The wind blows gently
God’s breath, Holy Spirit
Gives life so freely
Whispers of Love, you can hear it

All things of the earth
Living, breathing, sacred worth
Their song must be heard
It’s our choice to preserve
This gift from the heavens, so lovely a jewel
God granted this planet, our home for awhile

Treasures upon it for our enjoyment
Survival, recreation, even employment
It sustains our lives, gives food to nourish
Sweet music to listen, and beauty to flourish

We must cherish the value of this great gift
Entrusted to our care
Our home together with all things living
It asks that we learn to share

Survival of the fittest was part of the plan
But killing with malice and raping the land
Was not the intent
We’ve lost respect
Man’s power abused
God is not amused

Creation cries out, her music speaks
Her tone, her rhythm, her very heartbeat
Listen, you can hear the plea
Of nature’s call to you and me

The undertones of pain and suffering
Heard across the planet
Creation groans, asks for an offering
Of peace and good will, our commitment to save it!

03/27/10
Copyright © 2010 by Charlene Burgess

Through the Long Dark Nights

A few days before "The Great East Japan Earthquake" occurred, I had plans for my next blog post and it was in the process of coming together. I had gathered bits and pieces of things which I had already written on the subject, including a poem, and all I had to do was wrap my brain around how I was going to present it and start typing. Simple enough, right?

Then on March 11, news of the magnitude 9.0 earthquake and subsequent tsunami came to my attention. As more and more information became known and images of the destruction were being made public, I found myself to be suddenly mute. I was struggling to find words. I couldn't even put together a simple sentence. I tried. I thought maybe if I could just write one word, the rest would come, but... nothing!

I couldn't stop thinking about the children and how absolutely heartsick God must be to see His beloved children dealing with such horrible devastation. This was weighing so heavily on my heart, that everything else seemed empty and pointless compared to the thought of these little ones living the darkest days of their lives.

I had a very strong feeling that God must surely have sent some angels to do whatever they could to save some and comfort others. (Yes, I do believe in angels.) But in my little corner of the world, life carried on as usual all around me, and I felt somewhat detached from it all as if I was circling overhead, watching what was going on below, not quite sure where to land or where my presence would be the most help or to whom. A sense of complete and utter helplessness pervaded my spirit when I realized that all I could really do was pray. Don't get me wrong, I believe very much in the power of prayer, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough, and this was definitely one of those times! So I donated what little I could financially to the relief efforts, and I just kept praying... for the children and their families... for the rescue workers... for the angels.

A week later, I knew I wasn't ready to write what I had originally intended to write, but I needed to write or do something - anything - to recognize what was going on over there and in my heart. I couldn't sit here in my comfortable home with my comfortable life and act as if it wasn't happening! I could feel their pain, their fear, their sorrow and their confusion. I finally broke down and shared with a friend how I was feeling, and then the words started to come.

For the children of Japan... and for the angels...

Oh children, my children
Have no fear
I hear your cries
I feel your pain
And I am here

Oh children, my children
My heart weeps with you
Through your deepest despair
I will be there
Take my hand
I will lead you to safety
Don’t give up the fight
I will hold you and comfort you
Through the long dark nights

* * * * *

How do you tell a child
"Do not fear"
When their world is shattered
into a million pieces
When mud floods their playground
And splinters are all that remain
of their home, their space
Where loved ones once dwelt
In their warm and safe place

How do you tell a child
"Don’t despair"
When they don’t even know
if their mommy or daddy
can be found anywhere
If their brother or sister
are buried in the mud
When time stands still
and they wonder,
Is this God’s will?

How do you tell a child
"It’s going to be alright"
When their world has fallen down
all around them
When destruction and mayhem
are all they can see for miles and miles
Day after day
And night after night

How do you tell a child
"Go to sleep now
Try not to worry
God Loves you, you know"
When all they can think of is,
How did this happen?
What will become of my life?
Who will take care of me
and tuck me into bed at night?

How do you say
"Hang on little one
The sun will shine again
I promise you will see
another bright day"
When the days are unbearable
too painful to stay
And the long dark nights
only remind them
that nothing will ever be the same

* * * * *

Angel of the night
They'll know you are there
when you take their hands
and lead them to safety
When you caress their little heads
ever so gently
to show them you care
Your healing touch
will get them through
their darkest despair

Someday they’ll look back
and remember
The One who touched them
with Love and tenderness
Who gave them strength to get through
Who gave them hope anew
Brilliant warm light
Who gave comfort and courage
through the long dark nights

They’ll remember…
And be blessed


03/18/11
Copyright © 2011 by Charlene Burgess